I’ve read over and over again that sprouting chia seeds (or other mucilaginous seeds) at home can be a fairly difficult process that requires following a specific protocol.
No wonder most people avoid sprouting chia seeds as much as folding laundry and putting it away or visiting a nude beach in order to relax, right?
And yet, I’ve succeeded.
Chia seeds not sprouting, you say?
I may have a simple yet unconventional solution to this onerous task.
And I’m thrilled to share!
A BUSY MOM’S GUIDE TO SPROUTING CHIA SEEDS:
- Organic chia seeds;
- Front-loading washing machine (I did say unconventional, remember?) – not sure about a top loader;
- Your choice of foods and drinks;
- Woven cloth placemats.
Here’s what you do, and make sure not to skip any steps:
✓ STEP 1:
Place clean placemats on the table.
✓ STEP 2:
Serve your children anything with chia seeds for breakfast, plus drinks.
I used homemade plain kefir and cereal, banana, hempseeds AND chia seeds, and a warm chamomile and hibiscus tea with a spoonful of ultra-raw honey, prepared with love. (The kids didn’t care for the tea, so they got cold water instead.)
✓ STEP 3:
First, have your kids spill their drinks. It shouldn’t be a problem if your kids are anything like mine.
Then, watch them make plenty of mess with their food as usual. Don’t say a word this time though!
Wipe any spills off the table with said placemats when kids have finished eating, and bring placemats into the laundry room.
✓ STEP 4:
Try to remove excess chia seeds from the placemats unsuccessfully. They are now embedded in the fibers and good to go.
✓ STEP 5:
Put placemats inside the washer. Feel great about being a good housewife and go investigate the mountain of a laundry basket to see what else you might be able to throw in.
Forget about dirty clothes as soon as you leave the laundry room and slip on a sparkly princess dress and almost die.
With your heart beating really fast, double (triple) check for bright lights, dark tunnels, and deceased relatives.
…Not seeing any???
You’re alive! Congratulations!
Consider having some wine with breakfast to celebrate, and send your kids to clean up the colossal mess they’ve managed to make since awaking a mere hour ago.
In their cleaning frenzy that consists of everything but putting things away, have them close the door of the washer that’s supposed to stay open a tad when not in use. Just for fun. (Sure, we’re risking substantial mold growth in a fairly expensive washer but hey, you’re alive, and this is chia seeds sprouting we’re talking about!)
✓ STEP 6:
As a typical mom, have a ton of other things to worry (and dream) about, and let it all sit for a good few days.
✓ STEP 7:
A few days have likely passed by now and your laundry basket is about to explode at this point.
THIS is the day you’ve been waiting for!
Open the washer, put your arm in, and scream as the cold alien tentacles start clinging to your warm skin…
➤➤➤ Voila! The chia seeds have sprouted!
All hundreds and hundreds of them. (Or was it thousands?) Right in the moist placemats, sustained entirely on their own and on breakfast leftovers.
There they are, perfectly alive and happy.
Take a good look. They should be a few inches tall by now, leaves and all and ready to be transplanted.
If you’re lucky, there will be no or very little mold on the fabric (surprisingly, none was on mine).
Was it the kefir? The banana? Or the combination?
Do they thrive in airtight darkness?
I’m not sure.
But this is how I sprouted chia seeds, and with a very healthy germination rate I might add.
I wish I took a picture to prove my success with this unconventional chia seeds sprouting method. I’m pretty confident, however, that there will be another time.